A guide to happiness. Unlike what the title may suggest, Mark Manson does not advise to not give a fuck about anything, but rather to give fucks about less things, that are more important.

Interesting quotes from the book:

  • About motivation:

Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.

The author Tim Ferriss relates a story he once heard about a novelist who had written over seventy novels. Someone asked the novelist how he was able to write so consistently and remain inspired and motivated. He replied, “Two hundred crappy words per day, that’s it.” The idea was that if he forced himself to write two hundred crappt words, more often than not the act of writing would inspire him; and before he knew it, he’s have thousands of words down on the page.

The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.

There is a premise that underlies a lot of our assumptions and beliefs. The premise is that happiness is algorithmic, that it can be worked for and earned and achieved as if it were getting accepted to law school or building a really complicated Lego set. If I achieve X, than I can be happy. If I look like Y, then I can be happy. If I can be with a person like Z, then I can be happy. This premise, though, is the problem. Happiness is not a solvable equation. Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature and, as we’ll see, necessary components to creating consistent happiness. The Buddha argued this from a theological and philosophical perspective.

A more interesting question, a question that most people never consider is, “What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?” Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences.

Instead of striving for certainty, we should be in constant search of doubt: doubt about our own beliefs, doubt about our own feelings, doubt about what the future may hold for us unless we get out there and create it for ourselves. Instead of looking to be right all the time, we should be looking for how we’re wrong all the time. Because we are.

  • Manson’s Law of Avoidance:

The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.

  • About our values:

We all have values for ourselves. We protect these values. We try to live up to them and we justify them and maintain them. Even if we don’t mean to, that’s how our brain is wired. As noted before, we’re unfaiely biased toward what we already know, what we believe to be certain.

I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of the differences in others.

  • About defining one’s identity:

My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.

  • About changing one’s life:

It’s worth remembering that for any change to happen in your life, you must be wrong about something. If you’re siitting there, miserable day after day, then that means you’re already wrong about something major in your life, and until you’re able to question yourself to find it, nothing will change.

  • You vs. the world:

That’s simply reality: if it feels like it’s you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.

  • About being likable:

There is such pressure in the West to be likable that people often reconfigure their entire personality depending on the person they’re deadling with.